http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx
So, if you knew me personally, you'd know that Kylie has a bit of a crying problem. Not really a huge problem, but a problem, nonetheless. She's a baby who is blessed enough at home to have two older brothers and parents who are always around to immediately tend to her every sound. I truly, truly believe that the immediate and constant response to a moment of frustration for her has led to her being very sensitive to any obstacle. She's very inquisitive and loves to explore, but she will get frustrated over practically nothing and let out a wail of utter distress. And it's not usually something that she will get over quickly unless you help her with what she wants. In other words, she's very dependent on her parents and me to do things that other infants might not be so needy with.
I'll give you an example of some of thing things I've noticed with her. When she was a little bit younger, she would be sitting and holding a small toy. If the toy dropped from her hands and landed next to her leg, well within grasping reach, most of the time she'd just scream and scream until I handed it to her. Even though all she'd have to reach her hand down and pick it up, she wanted me to hand it to her. Since she's become more mobile and crawling, that issue hasn't been that frequent.
The other big problem is her sleeping. Nap time was a nightmare for a long time. She wouldn't want to be put down to sleep, so we'd have to get to her fall asleep (just holding her, rocking, swinging, whatever) and then try to transfer her to the pack and play. Problem is that Kylie is the lightest sleeper ever, so moving her up the stairs or placing her in the pack and play always woke her up. So we decided to keep her in the swing to fall asleep. For a LONG time, the only way she would ever sleep was if she was swinging, music playing, with me sitting in front of the swing pushing it past it's normal limits to swing higher and faster. I also had to be looking at her. If any one of those factors wasn't right, she would just cry hysterically. If I was sitting there but not pushing her, she'd scream. If I was sitting there and pushing but looking away from her for even a moment, she wouldn't sleep. If I thought she was asleep, but she wasn't, and I'd get up to leave she would scream immediately. Falling asleep took a process of sometimes an hour worth of swinging, opening her eyes every couple of minutes to make sure that I was still there. It was... as I said... a nightmare.
Now she is 9 months old. I have been trying to find information online for a while now about normal behavior for babies this age, and help with the situation. I understand a clingy baby, and I am a firm believer that babies cry for a reason, even if it's just to say they want a hug. However, I was convinced that this behavior wasn't normal, and was totally unnecessary. After many weeks of debating, I finally decided to try a day of letting her cry for short periods to see if she would calm herself. And honestly... she did. I put her in the swing on that first day, and told her it was nap time. I gave her a kiss on her head, and I put the swing on. When I walked away, she cries as I expected. But I stood around the corner of the room and waited. After 3 minutes, I walked back in and gave her more kisses, calmed her, and walked out again. After 5 minutes, I went back in and did the same. The third time that I left, she cried for only a couple of minutes and then fell asleep. And it was the first time in... I couldn't even tell you how long... that she managed to get a nice, refreshing nap in. So from that point on I do this to let her sleep. At around the same time each day now (In the morning, it's about 10 AM, sometimes later; and around 2PM for her afternoon nap) she starts to act sleepy and sometimes cranky, I put her in the swing, and she almost always falls immediately to sleep now. Sometimes she gives a little fuss, but it never lasts more than a few minutes.
My point?
I read that article and it made me feel better. I think the most important part of it is that sometimes babies just have to cry a little. There's no reason to let a baby scream for long periods of time when you're available to console them, and I don't believe that crying-it-out is ever a suitable method for very small babies. But once a baby reaches about 6 months old, I do think it's important for them to learn to be frustrated a little bit. Not a whole lot, but just a little.
Kylie was also able to roll at a very early age, and she has always been a little ahead of the game as far as movement goes. But she also went through a phase where she would refuse to attempt to even move. She would fall over (gently, no injuries) and just lay there and cry unless I sat her up. She was more than capable of rolling and even sitting herself up, but because she was always sat-up by someone else when she fell over, she wouldn't try it herself anymore. I'm convinced that the only reason she even learned to crawl was because I encouraged her to work through her frustration and at least try it.
Needless to say, Kylie has given me a run for my money over the course of the months that I've watched her. She's one particular little baby sometimes, and knows what she wants. But I can't help but look at that little smile and love her!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Some past Crafts that I never posted.
So, I'm really terrible at updating this bloggy thing. Here are some of the crafts that I'VE been doing over the past few months. Nothing spectacular, but just felt like posting.
This first one is one of several I'm working on for Kayla's room.
Muno, from Yo Gabba Gabba.
Here is another from the set:
I'm pretty proud of this, except that Muno's eye didn't turn out a perfect circle. =(
The following is cat's Halloween costume paw. She was a black cat with white paws. I also made the tutu, as well, but the paw is the impressive part! Hand-sewn, too!
This next one is sort of saddening. I made this 'tag' for my sister-in-law's baby shower. We created a clothesline decoration of baby clothing for her, and I was going to pin this to the clothesline so she knew who the things on there were from without having to go about it in the brash way we wound up doing... just telling her. But there was QUITE a lot of things on the line, and there was nothing on there to tell her who made it. We lost the tag somehow on the trip over to the shower. Still haven't found it.
I think it looks really cute!
And of course, the thing I make the most and hardly ever get around to showing off... a bow. This one was made for my niece for Halloween.
I have so many plans for stuff to do, and so very little time to accomplish a single thing. Sigh.
This first one is one of several I'm working on for Kayla's room.
Muno, from Yo Gabba Gabba.
Here is another from the set:
I'm pretty proud of this, except that Muno's eye didn't turn out a perfect circle. =(
The following is cat's Halloween costume paw. She was a black cat with white paws. I also made the tutu, as well, but the paw is the impressive part! Hand-sewn, too!
This next one is sort of saddening. I made this 'tag' for my sister-in-law's baby shower. We created a clothesline decoration of baby clothing for her, and I was going to pin this to the clothesline so she knew who the things on there were from without having to go about it in the brash way we wound up doing... just telling her. But there was QUITE a lot of things on the line, and there was nothing on there to tell her who made it. We lost the tag somehow on the trip over to the shower. Still haven't found it.
I think it looks really cute!
And of course, the thing I make the most and hardly ever get around to showing off... a bow. This one was made for my niece for Halloween.
I have so many plans for stuff to do, and so very little time to accomplish a single thing. Sigh.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Some of Kayla's seasonal art
For loving crafty things as much as I do, I really don't have my projects that Kayla has done to show off. Or that I've done, for that matter. I have a lot of ideas and not enough time to execute any of them, because when I do have a free moment, I usually use it to allow my mind to wander aimlessly, leisurely, before being ripped back into reality with a screaming infant and destructive 2 year old.
And not to mention that trying to do any craft with Kayla is like torture. She either doesn't want anything to do with it, or has a nuclear meltdown when it's over because she wants to keep doing it.
Anywho.
These are some of the stuff she's made From the past few months. I think they came out pretty cute. Granted, some of these were very little of what she did, and mostly my effort in cutting out shapes and putting it all together. But still, her heart was in it, and I consider them her creations.
For the fall, she made an autumn tree:
Then for Halloween, some ghost feet:
Then I got really ambitious for Thanksgiving, and she did a few:
One is just hand cut-outs, one is made with hand-prints for feathers, and the other is made with fingerprints. These were extremely tiresome to make. This is one example of when Kayla would scream because we had to wait to paint. In between each of the layers of feathers, you had to wait for the paint to dry. Oh boy.
And finally, this is the only Christmas one we've done. It's pretty basic, but still:
And that's it. Sadly. I have another idea for Christmas, which involves more painting and waiting for things to dry, so I'm sure it will be a nightmare. Worth it, of course, because she gets to paint and have fun, we get a cute end product, and the world keeps on spinning.
And not to mention that trying to do any craft with Kayla is like torture. She either doesn't want anything to do with it, or has a nuclear meltdown when it's over because she wants to keep doing it.
Anywho.
These are some of the stuff she's made From the past few months. I think they came out pretty cute. Granted, some of these were very little of what she did, and mostly my effort in cutting out shapes and putting it all together. But still, her heart was in it, and I consider them her creations.
For the fall, she made an autumn tree:
Then for Halloween, some ghost feet:
Then I got really ambitious for Thanksgiving, and she did a few:
One is just hand cut-outs, one is made with hand-prints for feathers, and the other is made with fingerprints. These were extremely tiresome to make. This is one example of when Kayla would scream because we had to wait to paint. In between each of the layers of feathers, you had to wait for the paint to dry. Oh boy.
And finally, this is the only Christmas one we've done. It's pretty basic, but still:
And that's it. Sadly. I have another idea for Christmas, which involves more painting and waiting for things to dry, so I'm sure it will be a nightmare. Worth it, of course, because she gets to paint and have fun, we get a cute end product, and the world keeps on spinning.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Another long gap!
As a very basic update to things around here..... BAHHHHHH.
Halloween was fun. Kayla was a tutu kitty cat, and she went trick-or-treating with Kylie's family. It was really great to see Kylie in her own home. I think that if it's possible, any caretaker should take any opportunity to see their children in their own homes for a little while. Whether there's any merit to it or not, I really felt that seeing her play with her brothers in her own home, eat dinner at the family table, and just observing her where she lives really made me feel closer to her. When I see her now it feels like she's extended family instead of a stranger's child.
Thanksgiving was also very nice. We spent the weekend following it at Brian's parent's house. Kayla got to see Emma, Gabriella and Tom.
And December has been hectic. We didn't even decorate outside this year. It kept getting put off for one reason or another, and now it's just too late to bother. All that work for only a week or two of enjoying it... no thanks. The tree is up and that seems to amuse the girls enough. Christmas cards are addressed and ready to be sent, but I just have to get more stamps.
Not much as changed around the house as far as the babysitting has gone. A gate has gone up across part of the kitchen blocking some shelves with appliances and the cat litter box. Kylie has free run of both rooms, which is more that we did for Kayla. She likes sliding around on her bum. We also installed a fridge lock, which is the greatest thing ever. Although, it broke recently. So I guess it's not really the greatest thing ever, but it's still a neat little thing that saved a lot of headaches.
Kayla and I have done a few cute projects over the past few months that I'll have to upload in another post.
Wow, all over the place. Plans for Christmas are very unsettled. All we know is that Christmas day, we will be with my family for dinner at 2. Other than that, I have no idea what's happening. I guess we shall see.
Ok, that was a very, very short updated on the past couple of months. Off to read, and then to bed!
Halloween was fun. Kayla was a tutu kitty cat, and she went trick-or-treating with Kylie's family. It was really great to see Kylie in her own home. I think that if it's possible, any caretaker should take any opportunity to see their children in their own homes for a little while. Whether there's any merit to it or not, I really felt that seeing her play with her brothers in her own home, eat dinner at the family table, and just observing her where she lives really made me feel closer to her. When I see her now it feels like she's extended family instead of a stranger's child.
Thanksgiving was also very nice. We spent the weekend following it at Brian's parent's house. Kayla got to see Emma, Gabriella and Tom.
And December has been hectic. We didn't even decorate outside this year. It kept getting put off for one reason or another, and now it's just too late to bother. All that work for only a week or two of enjoying it... no thanks. The tree is up and that seems to amuse the girls enough. Christmas cards are addressed and ready to be sent, but I just have to get more stamps.
Not much as changed around the house as far as the babysitting has gone. A gate has gone up across part of the kitchen blocking some shelves with appliances and the cat litter box. Kylie has free run of both rooms, which is more that we did for Kayla. She likes sliding around on her bum. We also installed a fridge lock, which is the greatest thing ever. Although, it broke recently. So I guess it's not really the greatest thing ever, but it's still a neat little thing that saved a lot of headaches.
Kayla and I have done a few cute projects over the past few months that I'll have to upload in another post.
Wow, all over the place. Plans for Christmas are very unsettled. All we know is that Christmas day, we will be with my family for dinner at 2. Other than that, I have no idea what's happening. I guess we shall see.
Ok, that was a very, very short updated on the past couple of months. Off to read, and then to bed!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Another Random Day
Today is October 13th, and it's just an ordinary Wednesday. I don't have anything significant to write about, but I just figured that I haven't in a while so I should.
Kylie is a little more than 6 months old now and she's already sitting up, pulling herself up, and trying to move in ways a normal 6 month old doesn't. I am pretty sure that Kayla was only rolling at this point, and perfecting sitting up. Kylie is ridiculously strong. I guess having two older brothers and Kayla to watch all day makes you really want to get going. The only problem is that she's so anxious to really move that she gets frustrated because she can't. You can tell she's trying to do things she's just not ready to do and it's understandably upsetting her. Once she does take off, though, I think I'll be in trouble!
Kayla's finally coming out of her terrible-twos. At least I think so, and at the risk of jinxing it. She's still got moments of total terror, but she's also more even-tempered and cooperative. She understands what we tell her almost completely now so she's follows directions really well. We can tell her to throw something in the garbage and she'll walk over and do it. We can tell her to wait by the stairs for us and she'll go and stand there until we come to get her. Little things like that that seem simple and unimportant, but it's a world of difference when it comes to the battles we normally have.
She is even starting to climb less, but it's not done completely.
Kylie went through a phase for a while where she was pretty much inconsolable all the time, and it was a rough few weeks. Nothing you did helped her... and when I say I tried everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Kayla was colicky so I know all the tricks. I think part of the problem was that she wasn't drinking well from the bottles we were using. It was either lucky timing or the bottles were the problem, because as soon as I switched to the standard sized Playtex Ventaire bottles, she drank like she had never eaten before in her life, and everything else started to even out as well. She still fights her naps and she's a baby who definitely needs a nap, so sometimes the days are pretty long come the afternoon. But we're getting there and I'll take this over what we were doing before.
That's pretty much what's been happening around here. We got rid of the outside stuff for the winter, so we've already started our hibernation. I sure hope that it doesn't snow a lot this year!!
Kylie is a little more than 6 months old now and she's already sitting up, pulling herself up, and trying to move in ways a normal 6 month old doesn't. I am pretty sure that Kayla was only rolling at this point, and perfecting sitting up. Kylie is ridiculously strong. I guess having two older brothers and Kayla to watch all day makes you really want to get going. The only problem is that she's so anxious to really move that she gets frustrated because she can't. You can tell she's trying to do things she's just not ready to do and it's understandably upsetting her. Once she does take off, though, I think I'll be in trouble!
Kayla's finally coming out of her terrible-twos. At least I think so, and at the risk of jinxing it. She's still got moments of total terror, but she's also more even-tempered and cooperative. She understands what we tell her almost completely now so she's follows directions really well. We can tell her to throw something in the garbage and she'll walk over and do it. We can tell her to wait by the stairs for us and she'll go and stand there until we come to get her. Little things like that that seem simple and unimportant, but it's a world of difference when it comes to the battles we normally have.
She is even starting to climb less, but it's not done completely.
Kylie went through a phase for a while where she was pretty much inconsolable all the time, and it was a rough few weeks. Nothing you did helped her... and when I say I tried everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Kayla was colicky so I know all the tricks. I think part of the problem was that she wasn't drinking well from the bottles we were using. It was either lucky timing or the bottles were the problem, because as soon as I switched to the standard sized Playtex Ventaire bottles, she drank like she had never eaten before in her life, and everything else started to even out as well. She still fights her naps and she's a baby who definitely needs a nap, so sometimes the days are pretty long come the afternoon. But we're getting there and I'll take this over what we were doing before.
That's pretty much what's been happening around here. We got rid of the outside stuff for the winter, so we've already started our hibernation. I sure hope that it doesn't snow a lot this year!!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Housewifery Randomness
I just had to post that I finally found a bath towel that is both affordable, and, so far, quality merchandise. I've spent all of my adult life (that's right, from the time I was 18!!) unsuccessfully buying towels. Every single one I have purchased wound up fraying, or losing its color, or just falling apart within a few washes. But finally, I think I've found a nice towel that we can actually afford an entire set.
These are the towels:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-True-Colors-6-Piece-Bright-Towel-Set-Violet/5715908
Mainstays True Colors towels, sold at Walmart. I only bought two large bath towels for 5 dollars a piece to try, but I plan on going back and getting more. They passed all the tests- the first wash was successful without fading, pulls, or falling apart,; the first use I found them absorbent, warm, and fuzzy; and they dry quickly. They also come in a variety of colors.... I didn't get this fantastic purple color, but I got a teal color that matches our bathroom and it's equally as pretty.
Awesome towels. I can't vouch for their long-term wear, but so far, they have made me a happy camper. If you're in the market for new bath towels, check these out.
These are the towels:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-True-Colors-6-Piece-Bright-Towel-Set-Violet/5715908
Mainstays True Colors towels, sold at Walmart. I only bought two large bath towels for 5 dollars a piece to try, but I plan on going back and getting more. They passed all the tests- the first wash was successful without fading, pulls, or falling apart,; the first use I found them absorbent, warm, and fuzzy; and they dry quickly. They also come in a variety of colors.... I didn't get this fantastic purple color, but I got a teal color that matches our bathroom and it's equally as pretty.
Awesome towels. I can't vouch for their long-term wear, but so far, they have made me a happy camper. If you're in the market for new bath towels, check these out.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Hairbows
I have a slight obsession with hairbows. I was so excited to find out we were having a girl, and solely because I was looking forward to dressing her up and accessorizing her.
Now, I've gotten pretty good at making some of them. I was intending on learning to make hairbows and sell them online or at craft fairs, so I stocked up on ribbon and dove headfirst into it. Well, Brian sprung an engagement on me and wedding planning sort of overtook my life for six months. By the time the wedding was over, I had started this childcare thing, and bow-making fell to the bottom of the list of priorities. I have made many in the meantime, but they're all for Kayla or her cousin, Emma, and I just don't have the energy left over from everything else to sell them. So I just consider it a nice little hobby to help accessorize Kayla and her cousin (very soon-to be TWO cousins).
Some I've made:
(Both Emma and Kayla are wearing some of them)
... and those are just a few. Her fall outfits already have coordinating bows. But, I still always recommend the website http://fiveblessedbows.com/ especially for newborn bows. Even when Kayla only have about 5 strands of hair on her head, the bows from this site stayed in. They use some grippy material that is awesome, and their bows are incredible. I still wind up buying from them on occasion because their products are professional quality and I'm just not there yet.
Those are a couple of newborn sized grippers from the site. That's not even an early enough picture to show how well they stay in, but our computer only has pictures from May of 2009 and on, no earlier. But these bows were used when she was less than a month old and could have been used from day one had we known about them beforehand!
Kylie (the baby I watch) has been given some of Kayla's hand-me-down gripper bows and uses them, and I fully intend to make sure that Kayla's newest cousin who is on the way, Gabriella, has a nice stock of bows, as well. For her baby shower, Kayla is giving her cousin a NY Yankees bow, to start her collection. =)
Now, I've gotten pretty good at making some of them. I was intending on learning to make hairbows and sell them online or at craft fairs, so I stocked up on ribbon and dove headfirst into it. Well, Brian sprung an engagement on me and wedding planning sort of overtook my life for six months. By the time the wedding was over, I had started this childcare thing, and bow-making fell to the bottom of the list of priorities. I have made many in the meantime, but they're all for Kayla or her cousin, Emma, and I just don't have the energy left over from everything else to sell them. So I just consider it a nice little hobby to help accessorize Kayla and her cousin (very soon-to be TWO cousins).
Some I've made:
(Both Emma and Kayla are wearing some of them)
... and those are just a few. Her fall outfits already have coordinating bows. But, I still always recommend the website http://fiveblessedbows.com/ especially for newborn bows. Even when Kayla only have about 5 strands of hair on her head, the bows from this site stayed in. They use some grippy material that is awesome, and their bows are incredible. I still wind up buying from them on occasion because their products are professional quality and I'm just not there yet.
Those are a couple of newborn sized grippers from the site. That's not even an early enough picture to show how well they stay in, but our computer only has pictures from May of 2009 and on, no earlier. But these bows were used when she was less than a month old and could have been used from day one had we known about them beforehand!
Kylie (the baby I watch) has been given some of Kayla's hand-me-down gripper bows and uses them, and I fully intend to make sure that Kayla's newest cousin who is on the way, Gabriella, has a nice stock of bows, as well. For her baby shower, Kayla is giving her cousin a NY Yankees bow, to start her collection. =)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Daycare- Why It's Not For Us
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. I would love to say it's not because I'm trying to defend myself, but sometimes it does feel like I am. At different points in Kayla's life I've encountered people from all walks of life who feel differently that I do about the idea of daycare. Some of them were very well-mannered and nice about voicing their opinions,others have been pretty blunt, and some even down-right rude.
So first of all, I'd like to start by saying that I'm not anti-daycare in general. I know that some people feel that it's good for their families to utilize daycare and have both parents work. I also know that some people, if not most, have to use a daycare because of financial reasons, or being they are a single parents, or whatever the case. I also think that some centers can be pretty bad, while others extremely nice. The employees there, the same. Some are probably grouchy and miserable, and others are probably some of the nicest people you will meet. The way I feel about it isn't based on anything but what I want for my daughter and for our family.
My first gripe about daycare came when I was originally searching them out and came to discover places that had their days broken down into 15-30 minute schedules. Now, I'm no dummy. I understand that when you have 5-10 toddlers per every adult, that there absolutely HAS to be schedules. I know that without routine that a situation like that would most definitely turn into pandemonium. And I'm aware that the schedules are for both the teachers and the children. I've been told that toddlers like schedules, that it makes the feel safe and they like to know what to expect. I have one alteration to that statement to make- DAYCARE toddlers like schedules because they know what to expect. Because not only does it become a part of their lives just as much as being home, but because they are in an environment where they are constantly on the verge of chaos. With so many children to every adult it would be very easy to throw things off-kilter.
But a toddler by nature isn't supposed to be set into a strict schedule. It's in toddler nature to explore. To push the limits and to see what they can do. To discover. And ideally, nurturing a toddlers natural curiosity should be balanced with a sense of stability and comfort, so they can go out and explore while maintaining that sense of safeness.
That's why I just think that the daycare toddler and the non-daycare toddler are two different types of children. Not in a bad way, but it can't be any other way. Daycare children are wired to routines. They need it, and they become a child that needs a schedule that is pretty intense. Several of my facebook friends messaged me to tell me that their children, all full-time daycare children, would throw fits when they weren't kept to their regular routines. They we weary and uneasy and easily stressed because of change. Even at home, simple routine changes were met with some form of apprehension. The toddler that isn't in a daycare, however, is usually not kept on a tight schedule and therefore never becomes accustomed to it. In other words, the non-daycare child is much more open to sudden changes and tend to be more ready for anything. And call me crazy, but if I have the opportunity to choose one of these to opposites for my daughter, I want the latter. I would love for Kayla to have the best chance at being flexible and adaptable.
Would she do well in a daycare setting? Sure, I'm sure she, like most kids, would come to settle nicely in her school. As of this point, she IS pretty easy-going and doesn't seem upset by changes in her days, so I think that enrolling her wouldn't cause any drastic, over-night changes in her. I'm not as confident, though, that keeping her in school full-time wouldn't change that, and create a child that depends on a schedule to feel secure.
All that being said, I do want her in some part-time program soon. If I had my way about it, we would do this gradually, starting with a couple days a week, half days. At two, I just don't think that full-time is necessary. I firmly believe that at two, the most important thing is socialization. Learning to play with other children. Learning to share and be polite. Forming friendships. And not structure so formal that it's broken down into 15 minute intervals, just the beginning stages of a structured day. I think that even now, playing in the park with other children would be appropriate and enough socialization for her. I, however, just can't get to the park regularly enough, so I'm not doing enough for her.
My ideal path for her would be, now, at two, two days a week, half days. Then, closer to three, I'd like her to be up to 5 days a week, half days. By 4, she would be enrolled in pre-school full time, so that by 5, in Kindergarten, she will have had an entire year of full-time school under her belt. I'd rather her have a gradual process of becoming accustomed to the classroom environment than just chucking her in all at once without a very good reason.
I am not anti-preschool. I know that it's important for kids to be ready for Kindergarten, especially since they are expected to go into these classes knowing a lot more now. I just don't worry that Kayla won't be able to keep up. She's so smart already, and I do everything I can to nurture that. She knows almost all the letters, can count to 15, and is beginning to recognize colors. Her vocabulary is immense, she uses sentences some of the time now, and she's got great problem-solving skills. In the very least, she is her daycare two year old's equal as far as academics are concerned. I also feel that three years of practice in pre-school, even if it is part-time to start out with, will be more than enough, especially considering she will be full-time before kindergarten.
And most importantly, I feel that right now, there is no better teacher for her than me. I know everything about her- her moods, her strengths and weaknesses, her potential. I understand her more than others, I get through to her more than others. I see the opportunities to teach her things all day long and not based on a schedule or routine. And I also think this is true of every single toddler. The most important person in their lives are their parents (or guardians). And to bring it all back around again, the one thing I can't provide her with is socialization. That's what brought me to the idea of a playschool to begin with, and why I still feel it's time to get her involved for a few hours each week.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this. I've always had a sense of pressure on me when it comes to this. And I've always stuck to my guns and done what I felt was best. I so think that I've done right by her by keeping her out of daycare. Astronomical cost aside, I feel as it's been the right choice to stay at home with her. And unless it was some fluke, I look at her right now, smiling at me while playing with blocks and calling out her letters and numbers, and I can't help but think I was totally right.
So first of all, I'd like to start by saying that I'm not anti-daycare in general. I know that some people feel that it's good for their families to utilize daycare and have both parents work. I also know that some people, if not most, have to use a daycare because of financial reasons, or being they are a single parents, or whatever the case. I also think that some centers can be pretty bad, while others extremely nice. The employees there, the same. Some are probably grouchy and miserable, and others are probably some of the nicest people you will meet. The way I feel about it isn't based on anything but what I want for my daughter and for our family.
My first gripe about daycare came when I was originally searching them out and came to discover places that had their days broken down into 15-30 minute schedules. Now, I'm no dummy. I understand that when you have 5-10 toddlers per every adult, that there absolutely HAS to be schedules. I know that without routine that a situation like that would most definitely turn into pandemonium. And I'm aware that the schedules are for both the teachers and the children. I've been told that toddlers like schedules, that it makes the feel safe and they like to know what to expect. I have one alteration to that statement to make- DAYCARE toddlers like schedules because they know what to expect. Because not only does it become a part of their lives just as much as being home, but because they are in an environment where they are constantly on the verge of chaos. With so many children to every adult it would be very easy to throw things off-kilter.
But a toddler by nature isn't supposed to be set into a strict schedule. It's in toddler nature to explore. To push the limits and to see what they can do. To discover. And ideally, nurturing a toddlers natural curiosity should be balanced with a sense of stability and comfort, so they can go out and explore while maintaining that sense of safeness.
That's why I just think that the daycare toddler and the non-daycare toddler are two different types of children. Not in a bad way, but it can't be any other way. Daycare children are wired to routines. They need it, and they become a child that needs a schedule that is pretty intense. Several of my facebook friends messaged me to tell me that their children, all full-time daycare children, would throw fits when they weren't kept to their regular routines. They we weary and uneasy and easily stressed because of change. Even at home, simple routine changes were met with some form of apprehension. The toddler that isn't in a daycare, however, is usually not kept on a tight schedule and therefore never becomes accustomed to it. In other words, the non-daycare child is much more open to sudden changes and tend to be more ready for anything. And call me crazy, but if I have the opportunity to choose one of these to opposites for my daughter, I want the latter. I would love for Kayla to have the best chance at being flexible and adaptable.
Would she do well in a daycare setting? Sure, I'm sure she, like most kids, would come to settle nicely in her school. As of this point, she IS pretty easy-going and doesn't seem upset by changes in her days, so I think that enrolling her wouldn't cause any drastic, over-night changes in her. I'm not as confident, though, that keeping her in school full-time wouldn't change that, and create a child that depends on a schedule to feel secure.
All that being said, I do want her in some part-time program soon. If I had my way about it, we would do this gradually, starting with a couple days a week, half days. At two, I just don't think that full-time is necessary. I firmly believe that at two, the most important thing is socialization. Learning to play with other children. Learning to share and be polite. Forming friendships. And not structure so formal that it's broken down into 15 minute intervals, just the beginning stages of a structured day. I think that even now, playing in the park with other children would be appropriate and enough socialization for her. I, however, just can't get to the park regularly enough, so I'm not doing enough for her.
My ideal path for her would be, now, at two, two days a week, half days. Then, closer to three, I'd like her to be up to 5 days a week, half days. By 4, she would be enrolled in pre-school full time, so that by 5, in Kindergarten, she will have had an entire year of full-time school under her belt. I'd rather her have a gradual process of becoming accustomed to the classroom environment than just chucking her in all at once without a very good reason.
I am not anti-preschool. I know that it's important for kids to be ready for Kindergarten, especially since they are expected to go into these classes knowing a lot more now. I just don't worry that Kayla won't be able to keep up. She's so smart already, and I do everything I can to nurture that. She knows almost all the letters, can count to 15, and is beginning to recognize colors. Her vocabulary is immense, she uses sentences some of the time now, and she's got great problem-solving skills. In the very least, she is her daycare two year old's equal as far as academics are concerned. I also feel that three years of practice in pre-school, even if it is part-time to start out with, will be more than enough, especially considering she will be full-time before kindergarten.
And most importantly, I feel that right now, there is no better teacher for her than me. I know everything about her- her moods, her strengths and weaknesses, her potential. I understand her more than others, I get through to her more than others. I see the opportunities to teach her things all day long and not based on a schedule or routine. And I also think this is true of every single toddler. The most important person in their lives are their parents (or guardians). And to bring it all back around again, the one thing I can't provide her with is socialization. That's what brought me to the idea of a playschool to begin with, and why I still feel it's time to get her involved for a few hours each week.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this. I've always had a sense of pressure on me when it comes to this. And I've always stuck to my guns and done what I felt was best. I so think that I've done right by her by keeping her out of daycare. Astronomical cost aside, I feel as it's been the right choice to stay at home with her. And unless it was some fluke, I look at her right now, smiling at me while playing with blocks and calling out her letters and numbers, and I can't help but think I was totally right.
Day Off
Ok. I have nothing really life-changing to say at the moment. I'm just sitting here, pretty much refusing to clean or do anything productive, and Kayla's watching some Dora. It's one of 'those days' to the max, and I'm enjoying it. I generally get a sense of total guilt when I purposely decide to NOT clean, or keep some form of order around here, but not right now. And after two years of training myself to need to be on the constant prowl for dirt, grime, dust, stains, smells, spills, or any of the other countless reasons that I never seem to stop moving while awake, I think I'm entitled to a day where I just don't care.
Last week I only babysat for Kylie Monday through Wednesday. I also don't get her back until Tuesday. They decided to go on a vacation before school starts, ironically, to NJ. They asked me some advice about heading to the Jersey Shore and I came up blank. I'm so not as New Jersey as I think they think I am. Just because I don't like pumping my own gas, that doesn't mean that I like to necessarily be associated with the state in other ways. I went to the boardwalks of NJ as an adult probably a total of 10 times, and all of them were uneventful except the two times I went to Wildwood when there was threat of tornado. I'm sure that visiting there is different than having lived there your whole life, but I just can't really imagine planning an entire vacation around it.
I spent the time off looking into places that I can bring the two babies during the week. I can't really bring both of them to the park by myself. I've taken them when I had Brian or my friend, Emily, with me to help, and realized that it would be impossible to chase Kayla while holing the baby. And she needs to be chased because she finds the tallest things to climb on every single time.
So far, I've found a place called Jumping Jungle, that Kayla loves. We went last Thursday and I know I'd be able to bring Kylie with us. It's an indoor place with giant inflatable things and padded floors. There's no need for me to hover over her, because there's virtually no chance she can get hurt. Even though she's the smallest child there, she keeps up well and the other kids were very aware of her, taking care to not play too rough. My only complaint was that there was no air conditioning, so even I left feeling pretty disgusting and I wasn't even jumping around.
There are also a couple of places in Binghamton that I think I could work. One is a small zoo, The Ross Park zoo. It's a very small zoo, but plenty of entertainment for a two year old. There is also a place near the zoo called "The Discovery Center". I need to go there before I have the two of them by myself to make sure if it would work, but it seems to be one of those hands-on museums where children can just get into whatever they want. So I have two good options and one potential. Kayla's getting a little stir-crazy in the house so I really have to keep looking.
I feel bad that we don't spend a lot of time outside, but it's just seems to not work out. I had an entire paragraph written here explaining the problems, but realized that it just sounds like I'm making excuses. I don't THINK I am, but I guess I could be. I won't lie- I despise the summer and hate being outside. I also hate bugs, and setting up the yard for Kayla is a pain. It's very frustrating to go through setting everything up, only to find it down-pouring anyway by the time I get it ready, which does happen more often than you'd think. To make a long story a little longer, this is why I needed to find places to bring her. I don't mind taking them out to stores or the mall, or anywhere that I can leave them in the stroller, but I also want some places where Kayla can really get involved and active.
Ahh, the search will have to continue.
Last week I only babysat for Kylie Monday through Wednesday. I also don't get her back until Tuesday. They decided to go on a vacation before school starts, ironically, to NJ. They asked me some advice about heading to the Jersey Shore and I came up blank. I'm so not as New Jersey as I think they think I am. Just because I don't like pumping my own gas, that doesn't mean that I like to necessarily be associated with the state in other ways. I went to the boardwalks of NJ as an adult probably a total of 10 times, and all of them were uneventful except the two times I went to Wildwood when there was threat of tornado. I'm sure that visiting there is different than having lived there your whole life, but I just can't really imagine planning an entire vacation around it.
I spent the time off looking into places that I can bring the two babies during the week. I can't really bring both of them to the park by myself. I've taken them when I had Brian or my friend, Emily, with me to help, and realized that it would be impossible to chase Kayla while holing the baby. And she needs to be chased because she finds the tallest things to climb on every single time.
So far, I've found a place called Jumping Jungle, that Kayla loves. We went last Thursday and I know I'd be able to bring Kylie with us. It's an indoor place with giant inflatable things and padded floors. There's no need for me to hover over her, because there's virtually no chance she can get hurt. Even though she's the smallest child there, she keeps up well and the other kids were very aware of her, taking care to not play too rough. My only complaint was that there was no air conditioning, so even I left feeling pretty disgusting and I wasn't even jumping around.
There are also a couple of places in Binghamton that I think I could work. One is a small zoo, The Ross Park zoo. It's a very small zoo, but plenty of entertainment for a two year old. There is also a place near the zoo called "The Discovery Center". I need to go there before I have the two of them by myself to make sure if it would work, but it seems to be one of those hands-on museums where children can just get into whatever they want. So I have two good options and one potential. Kayla's getting a little stir-crazy in the house so I really have to keep looking.
I feel bad that we don't spend a lot of time outside, but it's just seems to not work out. I had an entire paragraph written here explaining the problems, but realized that it just sounds like I'm making excuses. I don't THINK I am, but I guess I could be. I won't lie- I despise the summer and hate being outside. I also hate bugs, and setting up the yard for Kayla is a pain. It's very frustrating to go through setting everything up, only to find it down-pouring anyway by the time I get it ready, which does happen more often than you'd think. To make a long story a little longer, this is why I needed to find places to bring her. I don't mind taking them out to stores or the mall, or anywhere that I can leave them in the stroller, but I also want some places where Kayla can really get involved and active.
Ahh, the search will have to continue.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
How to Make a Tutu
So, I've been wanting to post about the crafting things I like to do for a while, but that was, yet again, forgotten and continually pushed aside. A friend of a friend mentioned making some bows and tutus for her daughter, so I offered to show her how I make Kayla's stuff. So I figured, why not just finally make it official and post it here?
So here it goes. This is how I make Kayla's tutus. Note: there is no sewing involved! You will need a whole bunch of tulle, some ribbon, and some patience!
First, I don't measure anything exactly. This is a simple enough project where I can just estimate and it matters very little if I'm off by a few of anything here or there. The great thing about this project is that even after you've finished, you can still trim the edges to make them shorter or more even if you want. It's very hard to mess this up!
You will need-
Tulle- You can buy this by the yard any any craft/fabric store. Often times you can find it for about $1-2/yard, and you will need anywhere from 6-10 yards, depending on how long and fluffy you want the tutu. For the tutu I made in these pictures, I used about 10 yards. It was a long tutu and very fluffy!
Ribbon- I prefer using ribbon, although you can also use elastic bands you can find in the sewing section of craft stores. I think that using a nice, shiny ribbon looks nicer when finished, though.
Scissors
That's it!
Getting started:
1.) First decide how long you want your tutu to be. Once you decide on a length, double it, and add about an inch extra (this is for room for tying the knots). Unfold your tulle-
Since the tulle comes doubled, I cut the tulle at the edge so that it becomes two separate sheets. -
You will be cutting strips of the tulle in this length that are approximately 5 inches wide. There is no need to be exact when cutting, but make them around that width and it will look fine. -
For example, lets say that you want a 15 inch long tutu. You will need to cut strips of tulle that are 31 inches long.
If you don't need an exact length, you can simply wing it. For this tutu in these pictures, I just cut the tulle in strips the length of the table. I knew that folding this length in half would be a nice, long tutu for our two year old niece.
How many you cut will depend on how fluffy you want the tutu, and how wide the waist of the wearer is. For a really fluffy tutu, you will be using three strips of tulle/knot. For a toddler, I would start by cutting about 90 strips. For an infant, I'd start with about 70. This should be the very minimum you will need, but be open to cutting some more if needed. For a less fluffy tutu, two strips/knot will be perfect. For a toddler, start by cutting 75. For an infant, start with about 50.
2.) Cut the ribbon. The easiest way to do this is just wrap a piece of your ribbon around the baby, making it long enough to tie when finished. So if your child's waist is 15 inches around, leaving about 7 inches on each side for tying, your ribbon should be at LEAST 29 inches long. Personally, I add a little bit more so that while I am making the tutu, I can tie the ribbon to chairs so it is taut and easier to work with.
3.) Tie the ribbon to chairs (or other stable objects) so that it is taut. This makes tying the tulle on easier. This isn't necessary, but it helps a lot!
The Tying Steps
Once you've gotten this far, you're mostly done! The only thing that's left is tying the tulle onto the ribbon until you've finished.
1.) Take your two or three strips of tulle (depending on how fluffy you want your tutu) and fold them in half. One hand should stay at the halfway point, making sure to keep it open for tying.
2.) Hold the tulle, now folded in half, in front of your ribbon. Make sure that you are starting about 7 or 8 inches from the edge of your ribbon, so that you can tie the tutu when you're all done.
3.) Take the bottom of the tulle, and pull back and up behind the ribbon.
4.) Pull the bottom of the tulle over the TOP of the RIBBON, but UNDER the top of the tulle (where it was folded in half). This should allow you to knot the tulle around the ribbon.
5.) Gently pull the bottom of the tulle downward, and continue to do so until the knot is very tight. You might need to practice tightening the knot, but just keep working it downward until the knot looks nice and small. That's it!
Now you've done the first of many knots.
(NOTE- in these pictures, you will notice shorter blue tulle around the top of the tutu. Ignore these for now! I'll explain that after the basic tutu steps!)
6.) Repeat, but as you tie your next knot, slide it as close to the first one as possible.
Repeat, repeat, repeat. Continue this until you have made knots long enough to fit around the waist of your baby, or in the length you measured your baby's waist to be. Make sure to leave some ribbon at the end to tie the tutu together onto the wearer.
You can do one solid color, alternate colors if you want, or do a rainbow of all different colors at once! Play around with the colors and see what kinds of tutus you can create!
You can also tie your ribbon in a knot right at the edge of the tulle if you like, but I never have needed to do this. If you make the knots tight enough, they won't be going anywhere!
Trim the edge of your ribbon, and you're all done!
Extra-
As you can see in the pictures above, I sometimes do shorter tulle borders around the top of the waistline. All you need to do this, instead of just a regular tutu, is:
1.) Cut pieces of tulle in the same way you cut the long pieces. However long you want the 'border' of tulle, double the length, and add an inch or so. If you want these short pieces to be 3 inches, then you will need tulle in 7 inch lengths.
2.) When tying your tutu, alternate between a long piece and a short piece. When tying your short pieces, one normal knot around the ribbon works best (it stays best since the tulle is so short). Angle the know upward. Be sure to slide the pieces together!
The finished product!
And keep in mind, you can ALWAYS shorten your tutu if needed. If you're unsure of length, then estimate up. Once you're all done, you can still trim however much off the ends as you want. You can also cut off scraggly edges that might occur from a quick cut here or there.
To make the pompoms-
There are several ways to make these. I found the easiest for me was just to cut pieces, about 3 inches wide, to the length that I wanted the diameter of the pom pom to be.
Using bendable metal beading wire, I cinched the middle as tight as I possibly could and made sure to wrap the wire around itself so it was secure.
Once securely cinched, keep separating and pulling the pieces of tulle apart. Eventually it becomes spherical, and looks like a pompom!
These, I just glued (and you can use any strong crafting glue, i.e. hot glue gun, E-6000, etc) to metal alligator clips for Abby Cadabby's pigtails. I also made one puff for her wand.
Here's the outfit, all together (sans wings, but they're coming!!) on Emma!
She loves her Abby costume!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Outside
Woo hoo!!! I finally think that I've set the yard up well enough to let Kayla out there without worrying. Two Superyard XT's have been put together and each side attached to the deck to form a large circle on the grass for the slide, pool or just open play space. Kayla can go up and down the three steps between the deck and the grass and play on both. I love that I can also be inside with Kylie and watch Kayla very easily through the sliding glass doors, or see her through the window if I'm at the sink. So if Kayla is climbing the walls and getting stir-crazy, I can simply open the doors and let her run for a little while and either sit out there with her, or bring the baby into the kitchen and watch her from the kitchen table. I'm pretty happy with it for now. Aesthetics will come later, as I'd still love to make the back yard look a little nicer, and sure, there are plenty of fun, outdoor toys that I think Kayla would love to have. But for now, this totally serves the purpose I need it to, and I'm glad it's finally done. It only took me over a month!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday- End of the Day recap
Yep, I was right. That was one long day. I'd be better off if Kayla would take a nap, but we all know I'd be asking for a miracle to ask that of her.
Another good week, overall. But seriously. I need a nap.
Another good week, overall. But seriously. I need a nap.
Friday
Well, it's the second Friday of two full weeks of this gig. As much as I love it, and know I'm lucky to do this, Fridays are just exhausting. Thursday is ok. On Thursday, I still think, "I can't believe how fast this week has gone!! This is the best job ever!! Time just has been flying by!!". But then I wake up Friday morning and think, "This is going to be the longest...day... ever." Maybe it's because the weekend is so close I can taste it, and I haven't had to appreciate the weekends in a really long time. Even when I was working and going to school, both full-time, I never really had a 'weekend'. Every single day was something. Either school, or work, or (more commonly) both. Granted, my job now isn't really something I think can be considered work. I get up whenever Kayla does, but realistically, if it weren't for Kayla rising early, I'd be able to get up 15 minutes before they arrive and I'd be fine. I don't even technically HAVE to get dressed, but I do for the sake of maintaining some professionalism, and in hopes that the day I happen to over-sleep and answer the door still in jammies with bedhead, they'll forgive me. So even though what I'm doing now is incredibly less demanding than my previous schedules, I've got this structure to my week that I'm not used to yet. So Friday, for the time being, is not my friend.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The First Few Days
It's been a couple of weeks watching Kylie so I thought I'd take some time to react.
The experience, overall, has been incredible. Not always easy, necessarily, but definitely a wonderful, fun, and rewarding way to spend my days. I've had several moments where I actually stop, and ask myself- are people really paying me for this? I feel lucky to be able to do this. Even if Kayla was in school, I think I would love to do this. Brian might have something different to say about that last statement, but if I'm being honest with myself and what I love, this is it for me.
Even as I write this, I'm getting paid to do this. Kayla is mesmerized by Barney, Kylie is falling soundly asleep in the bouncy-seat after being well-fed and entertained. I've leisurely enjoyed my coffee this morning, and have even been able to do some housework. It's not always so quiet, especially with Kayla going through her 'terrible-twos', but for the time being, we're happy. I'm lucky enough to have found a baby that is wonderfully-tempered and very content to observe the room, smile at you, and cuddle contentedly. The only problem so far as been her battle with the bottle, but we've settled on the Playtex Drop-Ins and she's been drinking like a pro.
Kayla has been pretty fantastic with the baby. I think she has her moments of jealousy, as I see her climbing into the swing or the bouncy seat after I take the baby out of them. But other than those small signs, she seems to be happy to see the baby and tolerant when she's crying or I have to feed her. I'm not sure she understands sharing yet, and sometimes when I try to show Kylie a rattle or book, Kayla tries to grab it away. But then she always brings it back withing a few seconds and shows the baby herself. She's learning. I don't trust her alone with Kylie, though, because she's a klutz and accidentally stumbles over things, throws things backwards over her head, knocks things over, hugs things really hard, or other things that might be totally innocent but still can cause harm. So Kylie doesn't leave my sight. I might take her into the kitchen to prepare a bottle, while leaving Kayla in the living room to play. When they're both a little older, maybe I'll be less paranoid. All in all, however, Kayla is handling this sudden change very well. She didn't even have the months of preparation children normally get for a younger baby being around, there was just a tiny baby here one day. I'm very proud of her.
Now, if I could only just get her to nap during the day. That would be fantastic!
My next goal with this is to make a more deliberate effort to get outside every single day. I have been slow to continue my preparations for outside because our landlords don't really want things on the lawn permanently. Once done playing, we're supposed to pick everything up. That becomes a time-consuming hassle. I have a Superyard gate, with some added panels outside that I intend to open in a large circle for a play area. It's quite long and after playing, I was simply pulling it closer to the house instead of leaving it set up in a large circle. That was also a pain, because it's not meant to always bend backwards. For now it's folded up again as I figure out what to do with a large, family-sized inflatable pool I bought for us. I'm planning to put it against the house since they don't mow there anyway, and I hope it doesn't cause any problems for the landlord. If I do that, I'll have the gate block off the pool from the rest of the yard, and have to figure out a new set-up for back there. I need it to be enough room for Kayla to run and play, without having to worry too much about her wandering off too fast for me to catch her with the baby in tow. I'm rambling. I'll update with a post specifically on the backyard.
Right now, the baby is at a phase where she simply needs basic care and cuddling, while being exposed to different things to help developmentally. I've got that covered. It'll be a whole different game once she starts to actually play and learn more actively. For now, I'm quite proud of the way things are going and feel confident that the family does, too.
The experience, overall, has been incredible. Not always easy, necessarily, but definitely a wonderful, fun, and rewarding way to spend my days. I've had several moments where I actually stop, and ask myself- are people really paying me for this? I feel lucky to be able to do this. Even if Kayla was in school, I think I would love to do this. Brian might have something different to say about that last statement, but if I'm being honest with myself and what I love, this is it for me.
Even as I write this, I'm getting paid to do this. Kayla is mesmerized by Barney, Kylie is falling soundly asleep in the bouncy-seat after being well-fed and entertained. I've leisurely enjoyed my coffee this morning, and have even been able to do some housework. It's not always so quiet, especially with Kayla going through her 'terrible-twos', but for the time being, we're happy. I'm lucky enough to have found a baby that is wonderfully-tempered and very content to observe the room, smile at you, and cuddle contentedly. The only problem so far as been her battle with the bottle, but we've settled on the Playtex Drop-Ins and she's been drinking like a pro.
Kayla has been pretty fantastic with the baby. I think she has her moments of jealousy, as I see her climbing into the swing or the bouncy seat after I take the baby out of them. But other than those small signs, she seems to be happy to see the baby and tolerant when she's crying or I have to feed her. I'm not sure she understands sharing yet, and sometimes when I try to show Kylie a rattle or book, Kayla tries to grab it away. But then she always brings it back withing a few seconds and shows the baby herself. She's learning. I don't trust her alone with Kylie, though, because she's a klutz and accidentally stumbles over things, throws things backwards over her head, knocks things over, hugs things really hard, or other things that might be totally innocent but still can cause harm. So Kylie doesn't leave my sight. I might take her into the kitchen to prepare a bottle, while leaving Kayla in the living room to play. When they're both a little older, maybe I'll be less paranoid. All in all, however, Kayla is handling this sudden change very well. She didn't even have the months of preparation children normally get for a younger baby being around, there was just a tiny baby here one day. I'm very proud of her.
Now, if I could only just get her to nap during the day. That would be fantastic!
My next goal with this is to make a more deliberate effort to get outside every single day. I have been slow to continue my preparations for outside because our landlords don't really want things on the lawn permanently. Once done playing, we're supposed to pick everything up. That becomes a time-consuming hassle. I have a Superyard gate, with some added panels outside that I intend to open in a large circle for a play area. It's quite long and after playing, I was simply pulling it closer to the house instead of leaving it set up in a large circle. That was also a pain, because it's not meant to always bend backwards. For now it's folded up again as I figure out what to do with a large, family-sized inflatable pool I bought for us. I'm planning to put it against the house since they don't mow there anyway, and I hope it doesn't cause any problems for the landlord. If I do that, I'll have the gate block off the pool from the rest of the yard, and have to figure out a new set-up for back there. I need it to be enough room for Kayla to run and play, without having to worry too much about her wandering off too fast for me to catch her with the baby in tow. I'm rambling. I'll update with a post specifically on the backyard.
Right now, the baby is at a phase where she simply needs basic care and cuddling, while being exposed to different things to help developmentally. I've got that covered. It'll be a whole different game once she starts to actually play and learn more actively. For now, I'm quite proud of the way things are going and feel confident that the family does, too.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Childcare: The First Steps
So, I've decided to start babysitting. Actually, this decision isn't exactly a new idea. I have been toying with the idea of babysitting in home since I had Kayla. I thought it would be the perfect way to make a little extra money without having to dump her in daycare. During her first year, Kayla and I went to my brother and sister-in-law's house in Philadelphia to babysit for our niece, Emma. It was a fantastic experience even with the hour commute both ways. It served as a great learning experience and convinced me that I would love do this.
When we moved to NY, we were hours away from all friends and family who might possibly want me to watch their children, so I hesitated when it came to getting started. I have no professional childcare experience, and I wasn't sure if it was even worth the effort. I felt that even if I managed to find a family, they would be weirdos or low-lives or some other creeptastic form of human beings. Brian was worried about being sued. I considered all this and really still felt I had to try. The worst that would happen was that I would find them to be undesirable, and not agree to it.
I put my ad on Craigslist and just waited. Within a couple of weeks, I got two responses. The first was for a single mother with a 3 year old. She seemed perfectly friendly, but as the messages went on and on, I began to get a bad feeling about her. She started telling me very personal information, like, information I might not even tell my good friends- abusive family, crazy exes, living on her own at 15 and on and on it went. I was scared. So I had to tell her that regretfully, I couldn't do this. But as luck would have it, I had already received the messaged from the second family- a wonderful, incredible family that I feel so blessed to have found, who were having a newborn and looking into other methods of childcare aside from daycare- perfect!
I felt more comfortable with newborns. Some can argue that toddlers are easier to care for- I disagree. I know newborns, first of all. I feel like I can care for 20 newborns with my hands tied behind my back. They need basic care- to be fed, changed, cuddled, to take naps, and to explore in their own little way. Toddlers are little people. They get bored, and let you know it. They get into trouble. They throw tantrums and act out. And they also need to learn. Actually learn- not developmentally, like a newborn, but you have to teach them things. That's a huge responsibility that I wasn't sure if I was ready for. Toddlers are serious business. They are scary.
I know, because I have a trouble-finding, tantrum-throwing, constantly-learning toddler that is loud, messy, and demanding. Multiplied by two and the result is mind-numbing.
So, after sending several emails back and forth as they asked questions and we got to know each other a little bit, we decided to meet at a park during a busy time of day. They brought their whole family, and we went with ours. I'm not even sure how to begin explaining how nervous I was. I felt like I was on an interview, but not based on job skills but my entire personality. They were judging my character and whether they felt they wanted their baby to be with me- as they should have been. But it's still nerve-wracking. If they had said no, I would have felt so hurt, even if I couldn't blame them. They had to trust their sitter. But I wanted so badly to be the type of person that strangers could look at and know would be responsible, loving, and honest.
Thankfully, they saw that! Woohoo! We chatted about some details, and as we left they assured me that they felt really wonderful about the meeting, and that they really wanted to do this. I was ecstatic! They were also wonderful, as well, better than anything I could have possibly hoped for. They're both professionals, responsible, and have two older boys who are happy and healthy. Wonderful people and parents. And very easy-going, which you'll understand why was a major plus in a few moments.
Since we met before the baby was born, we had about another month before we'd plan another meeting. They were to come to our home so they could see the place and know where Kylie would be. Now- I take a little bit of pride in how far I've come as Suzy
Homemaker. I clean regularly, disinfect toys, do wash constantly, take out the garbage, garden, fix things around the house, etc. The only thing I don't do is cook- and this won't really affect the babysitting thing for now anyway. But Brian is.... well... a collector. Maybe if I can figure out how to upload pictures, I'll do that. But since he's been a teenager, Brian has collected. Collected a lot of stuff. And collected stuff that might be... off-putting... to some. First of all, he likes the classic horror movies- Frankenstein, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, so on and so forth. So half of our living room looks like a normal living room with the television and sofa, curtains and end tables. But then the other half sort of becomes Brian's world. The computer desk and DVD cases are on either side of the wall, surrounded by which are the beginnings of his 'stuff'. Dozens of figurines, bobble heads, and life-sized busts of the monsters from his favorite movies. On the walls are hanging prints of paintings by his favorite artist- Basil Gogos, who obviously paints these monsters. They are all signed prints. I should also note that he's got tons of DVDs (in the thousands), so his DVDs alone are an overwhelming sight. And on top of one case of them are his wresting figurines (admittedly, a small collection), and along the rest are his box sets from his DVDs on display. That's the first corner that, on the tour of the house, I held my breath waiting for a comment or a look of concern. But they just looked and laughed as I joked about his collecting habits.
Upstairs, we showed them
all three bedrooms. Our bedroom is probably the worst of the house. Brian's other passion is music. In our room, he keeps his CD collection (or as he refers to them, "his other babies"), all collectibles music-related (signed posters, box sets, records, music figurines, etc.) as well as more of his movie memorabilia. More figurines from movies, and the wall where our bed is pushed up against is a wall-to-wall collage of his miniature movie prints (I forget the name of them, I'll have to get back to you. They're just small rectangular posters that are small versions of the movie ads). There is not a stitch of white on the wall and from ceiling to floor these posters encircle our bed. The rest of the room isn't much better. It's like a teenagers bedroom, but worth a lot more money.
The second room is Kayla's which we didn't really spend much time in. But the third room is where the pack and play is set up, and where, hopefully and space-permitting once the bed is moved in there, Kylie would be sleeping for naps. The room has been a library space for my books- which aren't as impressive a collection as anything Brian has, but still, there are plenty. It's also where Brian has kept his hockey memorabilia- so an entire wall has Redwings figurines, hockey pucks, Stanley Cup models, flags, and other hockey-related things are kept. Also, some of his less-favorite-but-still-need-out figurines are on top of shelves. Again, they laughed when I made an off-handed comment about his stuff. They weren't phased by all the 'stuff' at all.
I am trying to post pictures. I've been very computer-illiterate lately, so bear with me. But it's worth adding them. It's like a normal home meets a man-cave meets a teenage boy's bedroom. Very bizarre. And the way I just described that sounds terribly inappropriate, but sadly it's true!
Well, they left and for several days I waited to hear back from an email I had sent them that night asking them a question. I got worried they didn't really like the place and were trying to find a way to politely back down. But finally they responded, saying that they were so happy with everything, that she had been telling her friends at work how they had found a private person to care for their baby instead of daycare, and just a general feeling of being happy about the entire situation. So she's stopping by this Friday to drop off some frozen breastmilk and diapers and other supplies, and we get to see Kylie again before the big day.
We're starting on May 27th. It's coming up very quickly!
As far as how Kayla will respond, I'm not sure. I think she'll be really confused at first, and probably have a bought of 'sibling rivalry' and jealousy at first. It's been a long two years of Kayla getting nothing but my undivided attention at home, the change might be a little shocking to her. But I really do have a good feeling that she'll adjust well, and quickly. She loves all things small and cuddly, and I've been talking to her about having a new baby around. I expect there to be some rough days in the beginning (and probably randomly throughout, of course) but that just goes with the territory. I think of it this way. Had I gotten a job outside the home, aside from the added hassle of going out, dropping her in daycare, and the added expenses, Kayla would still have to have a period of adjustment to new things. This adjustment is at least smaller and less traumatic. I'll still be here for her all day, but she'll have to learn that she can't spent every minute in my arms or receiving my undivided attention. I also think this will be really good practice for any other kids that Brian and I decide to have in the future, so I'll have less trouble getting her used to the idea of having another baby in the house. I guess we'll see how accurate my prediction is soon enough!
When we moved to NY, we were hours away from all friends and family who might possibly want me to watch their children, so I hesitated when it came to getting started. I have no professional childcare experience, and I wasn't sure if it was even worth the effort. I felt that even if I managed to find a family, they would be weirdos or low-lives or some other creeptastic form of human beings. Brian was worried about being sued. I considered all this and really still felt I had to try. The worst that would happen was that I would find them to be undesirable, and not agree to it.
I put my ad on Craigslist and just waited. Within a couple of weeks, I got two responses. The first was for a single mother with a 3 year old. She seemed perfectly friendly, but as the messages went on and on, I began to get a bad feeling about her. She started telling me very personal information, like, information I might not even tell my good friends- abusive family, crazy exes, living on her own at 15 and on and on it went. I was scared. So I had to tell her that regretfully, I couldn't do this. But as luck would have it, I had already received the messaged from the second family- a wonderful, incredible family that I feel so blessed to have found, who were having a newborn and looking into other methods of childcare aside from daycare- perfect!
I felt more comfortable with newborns. Some can argue that toddlers are easier to care for- I disagree. I know newborns, first of all. I feel like I can care for 20 newborns with my hands tied behind my back. They need basic care- to be fed, changed, cuddled, to take naps, and to explore in their own little way. Toddlers are little people. They get bored, and let you know it. They get into trouble. They throw tantrums and act out. And they also need to learn. Actually learn- not developmentally, like a newborn, but you have to teach them things. That's a huge responsibility that I wasn't sure if I was ready for. Toddlers are serious business. They are scary.
I know, because I have a trouble-finding, tantrum-throwing, constantly-learning toddler that is loud, messy, and demanding. Multiplied by two and the result is mind-numbing.
So, after sending several emails back and forth as they asked questions and we got to know each other a little bit, we decided to meet at a park during a busy time of day. They brought their whole family, and we went with ours. I'm not even sure how to begin explaining how nervous I was. I felt like I was on an interview, but not based on job skills but my entire personality. They were judging my character and whether they felt they wanted their baby to be with me- as they should have been. But it's still nerve-wracking. If they had said no, I would have felt so hurt, even if I couldn't blame them. They had to trust their sitter. But I wanted so badly to be the type of person that strangers could look at and know would be responsible, loving, and honest.
Thankfully, they saw that! Woohoo! We chatted about some details, and as we left they assured me that they felt really wonderful about the meeting, and that they really wanted to do this. I was ecstatic! They were also wonderful, as well, better than anything I could have possibly hoped for. They're both professionals, responsible, and have two older boys who are happy and healthy. Wonderful people and parents. And very easy-going, which you'll understand why was a major plus in a few moments.
Since we met before the baby was born, we had about another month before we'd plan another meeting. They were to come to our home so they could see the place and know where Kylie would be. Now- I take a little bit of pride in how far I've come as Suzy
Homemaker. I clean regularly, disinfect toys, do wash constantly, take out the garbage, garden, fix things around the house, etc. The only thing I don't do is cook- and this won't really affect the babysitting thing for now anyway. But Brian is.... well... a collector. Maybe if I can figure out how to upload pictures, I'll do that. But since he's been a teenager, Brian has collected. Collected a lot of stuff. And collected stuff that might be... off-putting... to some. First of all, he likes the classic horror movies- Frankenstein, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, so on and so forth. So half of our living room looks like a normal living room with the television and sofa, curtains and end tables. But then the other half sort of becomes Brian's world. The computer desk and DVD cases are on either side of the wall, surrounded by which are the beginnings of his 'stuff'. Dozens of figurines, bobble heads, and life-sized busts of the monsters from his favorite movies. On the walls are hanging prints of paintings by his favorite artist- Basil Gogos, who obviously paints these monsters. They are all signed prints. I should also note that he's got tons of DVDs (in the thousands), so his DVDs alone are an overwhelming sight. And on top of one case of them are his wresting figurines (admittedly, a small collection), and along the rest are his box sets from his DVDs on display. That's the first corner that, on the tour of the house, I held my breath waiting for a comment or a look of concern. But they just looked and laughed as I joked about his collecting habits.Upstairs, we showed them
all three bedrooms. Our bedroom is probably the worst of the house. Brian's other passion is music. In our room, he keeps his CD collection (or as he refers to them, "his other babies"), all collectibles music-related (signed posters, box sets, records, music figurines, etc.) as well as more of his movie memorabilia. More figurines from movies, and the wall where our bed is pushed up against is a wall-to-wall collage of his miniature movie prints (I forget the name of them, I'll have to get back to you. They're just small rectangular posters that are small versions of the movie ads). There is not a stitch of white on the wall and from ceiling to floor these posters encircle our bed. The rest of the room isn't much better. It's like a teenagers bedroom, but worth a lot more money.The second room is Kayla's which we didn't really spend much time in. But the third room is where the pack and play is set up, and where, hopefully and space-permitting once the bed is moved in there, Kylie would be sleeping for naps. The room has been a library space for my books- which aren't as impressive a collection as anything Brian has, but still, there are plenty. It's also where Brian has kept his hockey memorabilia- so an entire wall has Redwings figurines, hockey pucks, Stanley Cup models, flags, and other hockey-related things are kept. Also, some of his less-favorite-but-still-need-out figurines are on top of shelves. Again, they laughed when I made an off-handed comment about his stuff. They weren't phased by all the 'stuff' at all.
I am trying to post pictures. I've been very computer-illiterate lately, so bear with me. But it's worth adding them. It's like a normal home meets a man-cave meets a teenage boy's bedroom. Very bizarre. And the way I just described that sounds terribly inappropriate, but sadly it's true!
Well, they left and for several days I waited to hear back from an email I had sent them that night asking them a question. I got worried they didn't really like the place and were trying to find a way to politely back down. But finally they responded, saying that they were so happy with everything, that she had been telling her friends at work how they had found a private person to care for their baby instead of daycare, and just a general feeling of being happy about the entire situation. So she's stopping by this Friday to drop off some frozen breastmilk and diapers and other supplies, and we get to see Kylie again before the big day.
We're starting on May 27th. It's coming up very quickly!
As far as how Kayla will respond, I'm not sure. I think she'll be really confused at first, and probably have a bought of 'sibling rivalry' and jealousy at first. It's been a long two years of Kayla getting nothing but my undivided attention at home, the change might be a little shocking to her. But I really do have a good feeling that she'll adjust well, and quickly. She loves all things small and cuddly, and I've been talking to her about having a new baby around. I expect there to be some rough days in the beginning (and probably randomly throughout, of course) but that just goes with the territory. I think of it this way. Had I gotten a job outside the home, aside from the added hassle of going out, dropping her in daycare, and the added expenses, Kayla would still have to have a period of adjustment to new things. This adjustment is at least smaller and less traumatic. I'll still be here for her all day, but she'll have to learn that she can't spent every minute in my arms or receiving my undivided attention. I also think this will be really good practice for any other kids that Brian and I decide to have in the future, so I'll have less trouble getting her used to the idea of having another baby in the house. I guess we'll see how accurate my prediction is soon enough!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Because I just feel like it
Since I was pregnant I've had this plan to write and blog about my experience- pregnancy, labor and delivery, being a new mom, etc. Yeah. That didn't exactly work out the way I planned.
As it turned out, my priorities during pregnancy were as follows:
1.) School, reading, homework, writing papers, and graduating
2.) Money, working, paying the bills
3.) Dealing with the physical ailments of being pregnant, sleeping, and going to doctors
4.) Maintaining my relationship with a very stressed out boyfriend and self
5.) Writing about all of the above issues in a way that would be cathartic and not irritating
Before I knew it, I was more than 7 months pregnant and hadn't written a single thing. I dreamed of one day showing Kayla my pregnancy journal so that she could read it and laugh along as she discovered that even in utero she kept me up at night and exhausted me. I tried to start one late in the pregnancy, but it was pathetic and instead of the heartfelt entries blogged in a manner that really brought the moment back into focus, it became a whiny rant about things that I was explaining based solely on memory (much of which was blocked from my mind due to the pain, discomfort, or high stress levels).
So I thought I would just start again and have a place to at least vent if I need to do it. Not that this will really take off. I might just make one post, this, and never come here again. I might come back every day. I go through spurts where I feel the need to write a lot until it swings to the opposite side of the spectrum and I either can't even feign an interest in writing or have absolutely no time or energy for it.
So for now, I'll just say that the past 22 months has been crazy. Kayla's delivery was easy- maybe at some point I'll write about that in more detail. She never took to breastfeeding, so I pumped for several months and went through a traumatizing decision to stop torturing my boobs by pumping dried milk ducts and switched to formula exclusively by 4 months. I felt terrible, as many people will make you feel as though you are poisoning your child with formula. She did fine. In fact, once she was exclusively formula fed, she thrived and all her previous constant health concerned seemingly vanished.
She's healthy, intelligent, adventurous, independent, silly, impatient, and friendly. Oh, and beautiful. But I could go on and on. She's a great little kid but with a stubborn streak like her father's that sometimes drives us nuts. She impressed people with her vocabulary. She's just awesome.
So, for now, I'll end this by saying that at almost 2 years old, she's come a long way and is the center of my world. In a couple of weeks I will be starting a babysitting job, in our home, for a 2 month old. It's going to be an incredible experience and I can't wait to start. This is also going to give us an idea of how we are going to handle having another baby of our own. It gives me the chance to learn how to handle two young children and Kayla the opportunity to see a little baby around the house and overcome her inevitable jealousy or confusion. As an added bonus, they can become friends so Kayla will have a playmate around here and be used to being around another child before she goes off to school. Maybe that's what I'll wind up writing about. I don't know. But either way, I'm sure I'll need a place to get things off my chest and work thoughts out. More to come.
As it turned out, my priorities during pregnancy were as follows:
1.) School, reading, homework, writing papers, and graduating
2.) Money, working, paying the bills
3.) Dealing with the physical ailments of being pregnant, sleeping, and going to doctors
4.) Maintaining my relationship with a very stressed out boyfriend and self
5.) Writing about all of the above issues in a way that would be cathartic and not irritating
Before I knew it, I was more than 7 months pregnant and hadn't written a single thing. I dreamed of one day showing Kayla my pregnancy journal so that she could read it and laugh along as she discovered that even in utero she kept me up at night and exhausted me. I tried to start one late in the pregnancy, but it was pathetic and instead of the heartfelt entries blogged in a manner that really brought the moment back into focus, it became a whiny rant about things that I was explaining based solely on memory (much of which was blocked from my mind due to the pain, discomfort, or high stress levels).
So I thought I would just start again and have a place to at least vent if I need to do it. Not that this will really take off. I might just make one post, this, and never come here again. I might come back every day. I go through spurts where I feel the need to write a lot until it swings to the opposite side of the spectrum and I either can't even feign an interest in writing or have absolutely no time or energy for it.
So for now, I'll just say that the past 22 months has been crazy. Kayla's delivery was easy- maybe at some point I'll write about that in more detail. She never took to breastfeeding, so I pumped for several months and went through a traumatizing decision to stop torturing my boobs by pumping dried milk ducts and switched to formula exclusively by 4 months. I felt terrible, as many people will make you feel as though you are poisoning your child with formula. She did fine. In fact, once she was exclusively formula fed, she thrived and all her previous constant health concerned seemingly vanished.
She's healthy, intelligent, adventurous, independent, silly, impatient, and friendly. Oh, and beautiful. But I could go on and on. She's a great little kid but with a stubborn streak like her father's that sometimes drives us nuts. She impressed people with her vocabulary. She's just awesome.
So, for now, I'll end this by saying that at almost 2 years old, she's come a long way and is the center of my world. In a couple of weeks I will be starting a babysitting job, in our home, for a 2 month old. It's going to be an incredible experience and I can't wait to start. This is also going to give us an idea of how we are going to handle having another baby of our own. It gives me the chance to learn how to handle two young children and Kayla the opportunity to see a little baby around the house and overcome her inevitable jealousy or confusion. As an added bonus, they can become friends so Kayla will have a playmate around here and be used to being around another child before she goes off to school. Maybe that's what I'll wind up writing about. I don't know. But either way, I'm sure I'll need a place to get things off my chest and work thoughts out. More to come.
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