Crying Baby

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx


So, if you knew me personally, you'd know that Kylie has a bit of a crying problem. Not really a huge problem, but a problem, nonetheless. She's a baby who is blessed enough at home to have two older brothers and parents who are always around to immediately tend to her every sound. I truly, truly believe that the immediate and constant response to a moment of frustration for her has led to her being very sensitive to any obstacle. She's very inquisitive and loves to explore, but she will get frustrated over practically nothing and let out a wail of utter distress. And it's not usually something that she will get over quickly unless you help her with what she wants. In other words, she's very dependent on her parents and me to do things that other infants might not be so needy with.

I'll give you an example of some of thing things I've noticed with her. When she was a little bit younger, she would be sitting and holding a small toy. If the toy dropped from her hands and landed next to her leg, well within grasping reach, most of the time she'd just scream and scream until I handed it to her. Even though all she'd have to reach her hand down and pick it up, she wanted me to hand it to her. Since she's become more mobile and crawling, that issue hasn't been that frequent.

The other big problem is her sleeping. Nap time was a nightmare for a long time. She wouldn't want to be put down to sleep, so we'd have to get to her fall asleep (just holding her, rocking, swinging, whatever) and then try to transfer her to the pack and play. Problem is that Kylie is the lightest sleeper ever, so moving her up the stairs or placing her in the pack and play always woke her up. So we decided to keep her in the swing to fall asleep. For a LONG time, the only way she would ever sleep was if she was swinging, music playing, with me sitting in front of the swing pushing it past it's normal limits to swing higher and faster. I also had to be looking at her. If any one of those factors wasn't right, she would just cry hysterically. If I was sitting there but not pushing her, she'd scream. If I was sitting there and pushing but looking away from her for even a moment, she wouldn't sleep. If I thought she was asleep, but she wasn't, and I'd get up to leave she would scream immediately. Falling asleep took a process of sometimes an hour worth of swinging, opening her eyes every couple of minutes to make sure that I was still there. It was... as I said... a nightmare.

Now she is 9 months old. I have been trying to find information online for a while now about normal behavior for babies this age, and help with the situation. I understand a clingy baby, and I am a firm believer that babies cry for a reason, even if it's just to say they want a hug. However, I was convinced that this behavior wasn't normal, and was totally unnecessary. After many weeks of debating, I finally decided to try a day of letting her cry for short periods to see if she would calm herself. And honestly... she did. I put her in the swing on that first day, and told her it was nap time. I gave her a kiss on her head, and I put the swing on. When I walked away, she cries as I expected. But I stood around the corner of the room and waited. After 3 minutes, I walked back in and gave her more kisses, calmed her, and walked out again. After 5 minutes, I went back in and did the same. The third time that I left, she cried for only a couple of minutes and then fell asleep. And it was the first time in... I couldn't even tell you how long... that she managed to get a nice, refreshing nap in. So from that point on I do this to let her sleep. At around the same time each day now (In the morning, it's about 10 AM, sometimes later; and around 2PM for her afternoon nap) she starts to act sleepy and sometimes cranky, I put her in the swing, and she almost always falls immediately to sleep now. Sometimes she gives a little fuss, but it never lasts more than a few minutes.

My point?

I read that article and it made me feel better. I think the most important part of it is that sometimes babies just have to cry a little. There's no reason to let a baby scream for long periods of time when you're available to console them, and I don't believe that crying-it-out is ever a suitable method for very small babies. But once a baby reaches about 6 months old, I do think it's important for them to learn to be frustrated a little bit. Not a whole lot, but just a little.

Kylie was also able to roll at a very early age, and she has always been a little ahead of the game as far as movement goes. But she also went through a phase where she would refuse to attempt to even move. She would fall over (gently, no injuries) and just lay there and cry unless I sat her up. She was more than capable of rolling and even sitting herself up, but because she was always sat-up by someone else when she fell over, she wouldn't try it herself anymore. I'm convinced that the only reason she even learned to crawl was because I encouraged her to work through her frustration and at least try it.

Needless to say, Kylie has given me a run for my money over the course of the months that I've watched her. She's one particular little baby sometimes, and knows what she wants. But I can't help but look at that little smile and love her!!