I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. I would love to say it's not because I'm trying to defend myself, but sometimes it does feel like I am. At different points in Kayla's life I've encountered people from all walks of life who feel differently that I do about the idea of daycare. Some of them were very well-mannered and nice about voicing their opinions,others have been pretty blunt, and some even down-right rude.
So first of all, I'd like to start by saying that I'm not anti-daycare in general. I know that some people feel that it's good for their families to utilize daycare and have both parents work. I also know that some people, if not most, have to use a daycare because of financial reasons, or being they are a single parents, or whatever the case. I also think that some centers can be pretty bad, while others extremely nice. The employees there, the same. Some are probably grouchy and miserable, and others are probably some of the nicest people you will meet. The way I feel about it isn't based on anything but what I want for my daughter and for our family.
My first gripe about daycare came when I was originally searching them out and came to discover places that had their days broken down into 15-30 minute schedules. Now, I'm no dummy. I understand that when you have 5-10 toddlers per every adult, that there absolutely HAS to be schedules. I know that without routine that a situation like that would most definitely turn into pandemonium. And I'm aware that the schedules are for both the teachers and the children. I've been told that toddlers like schedules, that it makes the feel safe and they like to know what to expect. I have one alteration to that statement to make- DAYCARE toddlers like schedules because they know what to expect. Because not only does it become a part of their lives just as much as being home, but because they are in an environment where they are constantly on the verge of chaos. With so many children to every adult it would be very easy to throw things off-kilter.
But a toddler by nature isn't supposed to be set into a strict schedule. It's in toddler nature to explore. To push the limits and to see what they can do. To discover. And ideally, nurturing a toddlers natural curiosity should be balanced with a sense of stability and comfort, so they can go out and explore while maintaining that sense of safeness.
That's why I just think that the daycare toddler and the non-daycare toddler are two different types of children. Not in a bad way, but it can't be any other way. Daycare children are wired to routines. They need it, and they become a child that needs a schedule that is pretty intense. Several of my facebook friends messaged me to tell me that their children, all full-time daycare children, would throw fits when they weren't kept to their regular routines. They we weary and uneasy and easily stressed because of change. Even at home, simple routine changes were met with some form of apprehension. The toddler that isn't in a daycare, however, is usually not kept on a tight schedule and therefore never becomes accustomed to it. In other words, the non-daycare child is much more open to sudden changes and tend to be more ready for anything. And call me crazy, but if I have the opportunity to choose one of these to opposites for my daughter, I want the latter. I would love for Kayla to have the best chance at being flexible and adaptable.
Would she do well in a daycare setting? Sure, I'm sure she, like most kids, would come to settle nicely in her school. As of this point, she IS pretty easy-going and doesn't seem upset by changes in her days, so I think that enrolling her wouldn't cause any drastic, over-night changes in her. I'm not as confident, though, that keeping her in school full-time wouldn't change that, and create a child that depends on a schedule to feel secure.
All that being said, I do want her in some part-time program soon. If I had my way about it, we would do this gradually, starting with a couple days a week, half days. At two, I just don't think that full-time is necessary. I firmly believe that at two, the most important thing is socialization. Learning to play with other children. Learning to share and be polite. Forming friendships. And not structure so formal that it's broken down into 15 minute intervals, just the beginning stages of a structured day. I think that even now, playing in the park with other children would be appropriate and enough socialization for her. I, however, just can't get to the park regularly enough, so I'm not doing enough for her.
My ideal path for her would be, now, at two, two days a week, half days. Then, closer to three, I'd like her to be up to 5 days a week, half days. By 4, she would be enrolled in pre-school full time, so that by 5, in Kindergarten, she will have had an entire year of full-time school under her belt. I'd rather her have a gradual process of becoming accustomed to the classroom environment than just chucking her in all at once without a very good reason.
I am not anti-preschool. I know that it's important for kids to be ready for Kindergarten, especially since they are expected to go into these classes knowing a lot more now. I just don't worry that Kayla won't be able to keep up. She's so smart already, and I do everything I can to nurture that. She knows almost all the letters, can count to 15, and is beginning to recognize colors. Her vocabulary is immense, she uses sentences some of the time now, and she's got great problem-solving skills. In the very least, she is her daycare two year old's equal as far as academics are concerned. I also feel that three years of practice in pre-school, even if it is part-time to start out with, will be more than enough, especially considering she will be full-time before kindergarten.
And most importantly, I feel that right now, there is no better teacher for her than me. I know everything about her- her moods, her strengths and weaknesses, her potential. I understand her more than others, I get through to her more than others. I see the opportunities to teach her things all day long and not based on a schedule or routine. And I also think this is true of every single toddler. The most important person in their lives are their parents (or guardians). And to bring it all back around again, the one thing I can't provide her with is socialization. That's what brought me to the idea of a playschool to begin with, and why I still feel it's time to get her involved for a few hours each week.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this. I've always had a sense of pressure on me when it comes to this. And I've always stuck to my guns and done what I felt was best. I so think that I've done right by her by keeping her out of daycare. Astronomical cost aside, I feel as it's been the right choice to stay at home with her. And unless it was some fluke, I look at her right now, smiling at me while playing with blocks and calling out her letters and numbers, and I can't help but think I was totally right.
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