Because I just feel like it

Since I was pregnant I've had this plan to write and blog about my experience- pregnancy, labor and delivery, being a new mom, etc. Yeah. That didn't exactly work out the way I planned.

As it turned out, my priorities during pregnancy were as follows:
1.) School, reading, homework, writing papers, and graduating
2.) Money, working, paying the bills
3.) Dealing with the physical ailments of being pregnant, sleeping, and going to doctors
4.) Maintaining my relationship with a very stressed out boyfriend and self
5.) Writing about all of the above issues in a way that would be cathartic and not irritating

Before I knew it, I was more than 7 months pregnant and hadn't written a single thing. I dreamed of one day showing Kayla my pregnancy journal so that she could read it and laugh along as she discovered that even in utero she kept me up at night and exhausted me. I tried to start one late in the pregnancy, but it was pathetic and instead of the heartfelt entries blogged in a manner that really brought the moment back into focus, it became a whiny rant about things that I was explaining based solely on memory (much of which was blocked from my mind due to the pain, discomfort, or high stress levels).

So I thought I would just start again and have a place to at least vent if I need to do it. Not that this will really take off. I might just make one post, this, and never come here again. I might come back every day. I go through spurts where I feel the need to write a lot until it swings to the opposite side of the spectrum and I either can't even feign an interest in writing or have absolutely no time or energy for it.

So for now, I'll just say that the past 22 months has been crazy. Kayla's delivery was easy- maybe at some point I'll write about that in more detail. She never took to breastfeeding, so I pumped for several months and went through a traumatizing decision to stop torturing my boobs by pumping dried milk ducts and switched to formula exclusively by 4 months. I felt terrible, as many people will make you feel as though you are poisoning your child with formula. She did fine. In fact, once she was exclusively formula fed, she thrived and all her previous constant health concerned seemingly vanished.

She's healthy, intelligent, adventurous, independent, silly, impatient, and friendly. Oh, and beautiful. But I could go on and on. She's a great little kid but with a stubborn streak like her father's that sometimes drives us nuts. She impressed people with her vocabulary. She's just awesome.

So, for now, I'll end this by saying that at almost 2 years old, she's come a long way and is the center of my world. In a couple of weeks I will be starting a babysitting job, in our home, for a 2 month old. It's going to be an incredible experience and I can't wait to start. This is also going to give us an idea of how we are going to handle having another baby of our own. It gives me the chance to learn how to handle two young children and Kayla the opportunity to see a little baby around the house and overcome her inevitable jealousy or confusion. As an added bonus, they can become friends so Kayla will have a playmate around here and be used to being around another child before she goes off to school. Maybe that's what I'll wind up writing about. I don't know. But either way, I'm sure I'll need a place to get things off my chest and work thoughts out. More to come.