Ok. Here it is. The beginning of the end.
Paige is almost three months old. This isn't as long as I was hoping to nurse, but I know that it probably won't be long before I stop. I'm surprised with how well I'm handling it but that could be because I'm not really letting it set in yet.
At some point last week, she started to refuse to nurse during the day. It started out with her just pulling away a few times, but I finally stopped trying after days of screaming throughout the whole process. She'd drink, pull away, scream for several minutes, try again, pull away, scream- repeat repeat repeat. I have a forceful letdown and the poor child was being practically drowned. And it wasn't just for a few moments at the beginning of each nursing session, it lasted almost the entire time. When the spray finally settled down into a reasonable flow for her to comfortably drink, there was very little left for her get. She's have to nurse for a really long time because of how little she was getting at once.
I have tried block feeding to get it under control, but that hasn't helped. I have tired to express some before she eats, but like I said, it's like everything comes spraying out until there's hardly any left so expressing some doesn't help.
I can really tell a difference between day and night nursing. I guess my supply drops a bit at night and it's bearable, because she still can nurse alright after 8 PM or so. She doesn't choke, hiccup, or even spit up over night. During the day we were a hot mess every single time.
So I started to pump during the day. After only a week, my supply has dropped. I'm doing everything I can to keep it up (Mother's milk tea, lots of water, oatmeal, etc.). But just like last time with my oldest daughter, pumping doesn't seem to be keeping my supply going as well as it should.
I'll keep trying and as long as I'm getting a decent amount, I'll continue to try to pump. But I just know this is the beginning of the end of my breastfeeding. My letdown issue won't resolve itself, so she probably won't be willing to nurse when she's choking. It really is a traumatic experience for us both so I can't say I blame her.
So we will see. I don't know what will happen in the upcoming weeks. I'm not anti-formula like some of my breastfeeding cohorts are. I have no concerns for her health or intelligence. In fact, my main reason for breastfeeding was COST of formula more than anything else. All the other benefits were just an added bonus for me. I'm just a little bummed to see things going down this path again but I'm much more prepared than I was when it didn't work out with Kayla, and I'm hoping that if we do stop completely, I won't have that overwhelming guilt like I did last time.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
The Mating by Nicky Charles
I'd give this one 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. I 'a little more than' liked it. It was written well-enough that I didn't really care much about the style, except for the dialogue at some points. That may be me, though. I almost always don't care for dialogue.
I just really liked this book for some reason despite what bothered me about it. Like I said, the dialigue was bad. Pretty horrid in some cases. It makes me appreciate a book where the characters can speak with inducing douche-chills. And Elise, the main character, was dense. It took her 900 pages to work out "Marla did it," when as the reader you realize that on page, I don't know, ten. If there is a bad choice to make, Elise will make it, but at the same time it was nice reading about a female with some vague inkling of a spine. This isn't great literature, but there's something about it that I enjoyed. I will definitely be reading the next book.
So I can add another paranormal sort of romance to the list of enjoyable reads. I'm happy to since they're always so hit or miss.
I just really liked this book for some reason despite what bothered me about it. Like I said, the dialigue was bad. Pretty horrid in some cases. It makes me appreciate a book where the characters can speak with inducing douche-chills. And Elise, the main character, was dense. It took her 900 pages to work out "Marla did it," when as the reader you realize that on page, I don't know, ten. If there is a bad choice to make, Elise will make it, but at the same time it was nice reading about a female with some vague inkling of a spine. This isn't great literature, but there's something about it that I enjoyed. I will definitely be reading the next book.
So I can add another paranormal sort of romance to the list of enjoyable reads. I'm happy to since they're always so hit or miss.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Fifty Shades of Grey- review
Oh, this disappointment is just all-encompassing.
Have I read the same book as all of my friends?
First of all, I need to get this off my chest. This is the biggest Twilight rip-off I have ever read. I'm not even a die-hard Twi-hard, and I'm disgusted by how similar these books are. Seriously, at least Twilight has vampires, albeit sort of silly ones.
So let's compare.
Setting:
Twlight- Washington.
Fifty Shades- Washington.
Characters:
Female protagonist-
Isabella Swan- Prefers to be called Bella. Pale, dark hair, sort of nondescript so that most young women can easily put themselves in her shoes. Awkward, clumsy, socially defunct, sexually inexperienced. Two divorced parents, sort of sweet, hare-brained mother who lives with stepfather in the south. Has tastes that are not common for her age. Likes to read classic literature. No self-esteem. Apparently living in 1995 because Email is her main way to keep in touch over, say, text messaging. Emphasis placed on her researching online to learn more about Edward. drives a rickety old car that causes edward concern.
Anastasia Steele- Prefers to be called Ana. Pale, dark hair, sort of nondescript so that most young women can easily put themselves in her shoes. Awkward, clumsy, socially defunct, sexually inexperienced. Two divorced parents, sort of sweet, hare-brained mother who lives with stepfather in the south. Has tastes that are not common for her age. Likes to read classic literature. No self-esteem. Apparently living in 1995 because Email is her main way to keep in touch over, say, text messaging. Emphasis placed on her researching online to learn more about Christian. drives a rickety old car that causes christian concern.
Male Protagonist-
Edward Cullen- Drop-dead gorgeous. Copper haired. Wealthy. Controlling. Adopted by well-off parents, one whom is a doctor. Likes a variety of music, much of which is classical. Plays piano. Has several adopted siblings. Likes fancy cars. Has never brought a woman home before, and everyone was worried about him for it. Talks about 'his world' being separate from the normal one.
Christian Grey- See all of Edward Cullen. Except he's not a vampire.
Other-
Mia- see Alice Cullen.
Ray- see Charlie Swan
Kate- arguably comparable to Rosalie Cullen- although not a sibling to christian or anatagonist to ana, she is used as a foil for her just as Rosalie is to Bella. Also, she's romantically involved with Christian's brother ( just as Rosalie is with Emmett).
Elliott- see Emmett.
Jose- see Jacob
Plot-
Twilight- Self-proclaimed uninteresting and not-attractive Bella Swan, (Who apparently IS attractive to other people) somehow manages to catch the eye of over-the-top gorgeous rich dude Edward Cullen. Edward tells Bella to stay away, but finds he can't and their strange fucked up relationship ensues. About 1 week into their even knowing the existence of each other, Bella is forever in love.
Fifty Shades- Self-proclaimed uninteresting and not-attractive Ana Steele, (Who apparently IS attractive to other people) somehow manages to catch the eye of over-the-top gorgeous rich dude Christian Grey. Christian tells Ana to stay away, but finds he can't and their strange fucked up relationship ensues. About 1 week into their even knowing the existence of each other, Ana is forever in love.
Have I covered it? Hardly. This book, almost verbatim in some places, mimics Twilight so much that it was distracting. I kept expecting Ana to throw out that now practically legendary line about being 'irrevocably in love' with stupid Christian, or maybe for the Volturi to pop out from around a corner and start chasing them down. From the overly warm welcome of Ana to Christian's family to the fast comment about needing 'bathroom time', this absolutely stinks of borderline plagiarism or copy write infringement or something.
On to this book on it's own.
Horrible.
Fifty shades? FIFTY? Because really, all I could see were two- asshole with a messed up childhood who now likes to beat his lovers, and playful, lovable normal dude who was quite enjoyable. That's about it. Fifty shades, though. I'd like to know the other 48.
Ana is one of the least likable characters I think ever written. She's more spineless and annoying that Bella Swan, equally needy and ridiculously, unhealthily willing to comply with a man she met only very recently. I give Bella Swan benefit of the doubt in her case, but Anastasia Steel just stumbles on forward with her relationship while this STRANGER continuously treats her like a child or an object... then is surprised or confused when his personality shifts dramatically. Which is does on every other page. This woman is a total moron.
Also- let's take one moment to enjoy a definition of a word used repeatedly in the book.
Subconscious- existing or operating in the mind beneath or beyond consciousness: the subconscious self. Compare preconscious, unconscious.
STOP REFERRING TO YOUR INNER MONOLOGUE AS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. If it was subconscious, you would not know what it was saying. People pay good money to figure out what their subconscious is trying to tell them, but apparently, Anastasia Steel has hers on a two-way radio at all times.
Don't get me wrong- my favorite part of the entire book was the reaction of her 'subconscious' and her 'inner goddess', and a couple of times I even laughed aloud as she describes her subconscious calling her a 'ho'. But the constant reference to her 'subconscious' throughout the book makes the misuse of the word even more irritating.
Speaking of repeated words- Without a doubt, had I read about the smell of Christian's body wash one more time, I think I would have actually lost my self-control and thrown the Nook across the room. I get it. He smells like his body wash. Maybe we can talk about that again in ten pages? And while we're at it, why not use the word "heady" or "intoxicating" some more. Or how about we have another sex scene that starts with Ana being entirely shocked that it's happening at all, and be sure to somehow include the word, "wow" as evidence of how she feels. So very descriptive. Really takes me away.
And so we're clear, I'm rolling my eyes, because every eye roll apparently is something worth discussing for several pages.
This book as absolutely no point. None. It's just reading so that you can get to the next sex scene. The characters are awful, the plot is non-existent, and the entire thing is one giant Twilight rip-off without the somewhat engaging story line. I wanted to give Ana some credit for being the one to break things off with Christian, but then she's devastated, "numb", and clearly pulling a Bella now that Christian's not in the picture.
This was just such an, oh my god, terrible, terrible book. I kept wishing that I could reach into the pages and punch the characters right in their horribly described faces, but then realized that would probably turn them on.
I'm all about a fun, sexy romp, but for now I'll just stick with the Black Dagger Brotherhood books when I'm looking for a smokin' hot read. At least there's also some semblance of a plot in that series.
Have I read the same book as all of my friends?
First of all, I need to get this off my chest. This is the biggest Twilight rip-off I have ever read. I'm not even a die-hard Twi-hard, and I'm disgusted by how similar these books are. Seriously, at least Twilight has vampires, albeit sort of silly ones.
So let's compare.
Setting:
Twlight- Washington.
Fifty Shades- Washington.
Characters:
Female protagonist-
Isabella Swan- Prefers to be called Bella. Pale, dark hair, sort of nondescript so that most young women can easily put themselves in her shoes. Awkward, clumsy, socially defunct, sexually inexperienced. Two divorced parents, sort of sweet, hare-brained mother who lives with stepfather in the south. Has tastes that are not common for her age. Likes to read classic literature. No self-esteem. Apparently living in 1995 because Email is her main way to keep in touch over, say, text messaging. Emphasis placed on her researching online to learn more about Edward. drives a rickety old car that causes edward concern.
Anastasia Steele- Prefers to be called Ana. Pale, dark hair, sort of nondescript so that most young women can easily put themselves in her shoes. Awkward, clumsy, socially defunct, sexually inexperienced. Two divorced parents, sort of sweet, hare-brained mother who lives with stepfather in the south. Has tastes that are not common for her age. Likes to read classic literature. No self-esteem. Apparently living in 1995 because Email is her main way to keep in touch over, say, text messaging. Emphasis placed on her researching online to learn more about Christian. drives a rickety old car that causes christian concern.
Male Protagonist-
Edward Cullen- Drop-dead gorgeous. Copper haired. Wealthy. Controlling. Adopted by well-off parents, one whom is a doctor. Likes a variety of music, much of which is classical. Plays piano. Has several adopted siblings. Likes fancy cars. Has never brought a woman home before, and everyone was worried about him for it. Talks about 'his world' being separate from the normal one.
Christian Grey- See all of Edward Cullen. Except he's not a vampire.
Other-
Mia- see Alice Cullen.
Ray- see Charlie Swan
Kate- arguably comparable to Rosalie Cullen- although not a sibling to christian or anatagonist to ana, she is used as a foil for her just as Rosalie is to Bella. Also, she's romantically involved with Christian's brother ( just as Rosalie is with Emmett).
Elliott- see Emmett.
Jose- see Jacob
Plot-
Twilight- Self-proclaimed uninteresting and not-attractive Bella Swan, (Who apparently IS attractive to other people) somehow manages to catch the eye of over-the-top gorgeous rich dude Edward Cullen. Edward tells Bella to stay away, but finds he can't and their strange fucked up relationship ensues. About 1 week into their even knowing the existence of each other, Bella is forever in love.
Fifty Shades- Self-proclaimed uninteresting and not-attractive Ana Steele, (Who apparently IS attractive to other people) somehow manages to catch the eye of over-the-top gorgeous rich dude Christian Grey. Christian tells Ana to stay away, but finds he can't and their strange fucked up relationship ensues. About 1 week into their even knowing the existence of each other, Ana is forever in love.
Have I covered it? Hardly. This book, almost verbatim in some places, mimics Twilight so much that it was distracting. I kept expecting Ana to throw out that now practically legendary line about being 'irrevocably in love' with stupid Christian, or maybe for the Volturi to pop out from around a corner and start chasing them down. From the overly warm welcome of Ana to Christian's family to the fast comment about needing 'bathroom time', this absolutely stinks of borderline plagiarism or copy write infringement or something.
On to this book on it's own.
Horrible.
Fifty shades? FIFTY? Because really, all I could see were two- asshole with a messed up childhood who now likes to beat his lovers, and playful, lovable normal dude who was quite enjoyable. That's about it. Fifty shades, though. I'd like to know the other 48.
Ana is one of the least likable characters I think ever written. She's more spineless and annoying that Bella Swan, equally needy and ridiculously, unhealthily willing to comply with a man she met only very recently. I give Bella Swan benefit of the doubt in her case, but Anastasia Steel just stumbles on forward with her relationship while this STRANGER continuously treats her like a child or an object... then is surprised or confused when his personality shifts dramatically. Which is does on every other page. This woman is a total moron.
Also- let's take one moment to enjoy a definition of a word used repeatedly in the book.
Subconscious- existing or operating in the mind beneath or beyond consciousness: the subconscious self. Compare preconscious, unconscious.
STOP REFERRING TO YOUR INNER MONOLOGUE AS YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. If it was subconscious, you would not know what it was saying. People pay good money to figure out what their subconscious is trying to tell them, but apparently, Anastasia Steel has hers on a two-way radio at all times.
Don't get me wrong- my favorite part of the entire book was the reaction of her 'subconscious' and her 'inner goddess', and a couple of times I even laughed aloud as she describes her subconscious calling her a 'ho'. But the constant reference to her 'subconscious' throughout the book makes the misuse of the word even more irritating.
Speaking of repeated words- Without a doubt, had I read about the smell of Christian's body wash one more time, I think I would have actually lost my self-control and thrown the Nook across the room. I get it. He smells like his body wash. Maybe we can talk about that again in ten pages? And while we're at it, why not use the word "heady" or "intoxicating" some more. Or how about we have another sex scene that starts with Ana being entirely shocked that it's happening at all, and be sure to somehow include the word, "wow" as evidence of how she feels. So very descriptive. Really takes me away.
And so we're clear, I'm rolling my eyes, because every eye roll apparently is something worth discussing for several pages.
This book as absolutely no point. None. It's just reading so that you can get to the next sex scene. The characters are awful, the plot is non-existent, and the entire thing is one giant Twilight rip-off without the somewhat engaging story line. I wanted to give Ana some credit for being the one to break things off with Christian, but then she's devastated, "numb", and clearly pulling a Bella now that Christian's not in the picture.
This was just such an, oh my god, terrible, terrible book. I kept wishing that I could reach into the pages and punch the characters right in their horribly described faces, but then realized that would probably turn them on.
I'm all about a fun, sexy romp, but for now I'll just stick with the Black Dagger Brotherhood books when I'm looking for a smokin' hot read. At least there's also some semblance of a plot in that series.
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